Weight Loss

I have a Thinking Problem

I recently switched careers.  I went from the accounting field to information technology. In my new role, I am a Business Analyst.  I did a lot of research and planning to make the transition.  After being lost a very long time, I FINALLY feel I have found a fit for my skill set and personality.  Truthfully, I am not very technical (or at all) and I always thought of my self more as the creative type rather than analytical.  But this role plays really well with my OCD tendencies.   Sometimes a little too well…

I was working on some new processes and showed them to my boss for feedback.  I put together elaborate slides with diagrams, comparisons, and outlined almost every given scenario based on all of the information I gathered.  My goal was to get sign off and birth a new process.  She appreciated the work that I did but called me out for overthinking for this specific type of project where a more iterative approach may be more applicable with some built in flexibility.

“Some things you can’t answer right away and some things need to evolve organically”.

Huh.

At first I was a smidge offended and wanted to fire back and say “ANALYST is my job title and I analyzed the shit of this!” I also wanted to trash all the work I did and start from scratch because all I was hearing was how my work was all wrong.

I didn’t argue and I didn’t trash my work.  I kept an open mind and listened.  Deep down I knew she was right and as much can constructive feedback sting, I like the lessons they provide.  Once my ego recovered, I realized overthinking and over planning can be bad as not planning enough.

That is when it really hit me.  I am like this with a lot of things in my everyday life.  I have a tendency to really beat the proverbial dead horse.

hang-on-let-me-overthink-this-ecardI overthink some of the smallest things like where to go for dinner or what I should pack on a vacation.  I get more in the weeds with the bigger decisions I need to make.  I made a damned flow chart to help me decide if I should sign my daughter up for traveling soccer in our home town or do recreational soccer in a neighboring city.  Don’t even get me started on what I did to map out preschool options for our children.  I have an ulcer for a reason.

Sometimes with my overthinking and over planning I get complete analysis paralysis and shut down.  I have a tendency to plan for perfection and when things don’t go off like I envision them, I chalk it up as a failure and quit.  In other words, I can be a complete shit show.

I can see that overthinking is my hurdle with health and weight loss.  It is a vicious cycle:  I decide to commit to work out certain number of times per week, eat in a certain way (paleo, keto, etc.), AND follow a training program to the letter.  There is no flexibility built in because I want to hit a goal by a certain date.

THEN…Someone brings cake to work or I forget my lunch or a friend wants to meet for drinks or schedules change or I am completely stressed out…

When things like this come up, my resolve is completely out the window.  I have the cake, I do the drinks, or I grab dinner on the fly because we are on the run.  Then all bets are off.  Since I go off the plan, I REALLY go off the plan.  The “start fresh tomorrow” mentality kicks in.  Then tomorrow comes and the cycle continues.

This is where my method fails me.  THIS is life and THESE are the situations where I need to have some built in flexibility.  I am now 75lb overweight and really need to re-evaluate how I am going about losing this weight.  Perhaps not planning every single detail is the better way to go. 

Wow.  I didn’t expect one informal conversation with my boss would be so enlightening.

What did I learn:

  • I have issues.
  • Overthinking and over planning don’t usually serve me well.
  • I am over thinking right now

 

Uncategorized

Return of the Give-a-Damn

I have not been very good about consistently writing blog posts.  My goal for this blog was to have a place to write about my journey to better health and fitness while juggling life.  I haven’t been consistent because I haven’t been focused on my health, my weight, or my fitness.  At all.

Several months ago, I noticed my bathroom scale was broken.  I pitched it and decided that I was going to be more than a number.  I worked out and ate decent* so the scale was pointless in my mind

*No I didn’t. 

Out of curiosity, I stepped on the scale at my parents house and I was shocked at the number staring back at me. It showed me weighing the heaviest I have ever been as an adult.  Thinking this number had to be wrong, I ordered my own scale.  To my horror, it read the same number as the scale at my parents house. Unfortunately, with this new knowledge, I had to stop blaming my daughter for shrinking my clothes in the dryer and accept my current reality that I have a bit of a weight problem.

The reality is I don’t eat well at all.  I eat a lot of crappy fast food because I don’t pack a lunch, I eat a lot of sugar, I partake in adult beverages more than I should, and I certainly do not work out as much as I think I do.  I am stress eater and I have been feeling the pressure lately.  Taking an honest assessment and a good hard look at myself was tough

I did a bit of research on the web and found that healthy range for my height is 122-164 lbs. according to the CDC. My current BMI is 35 or that is what the online calculator told me (OUCH!).  I have approximately 60-75lbs to lose to be on the higher end of that range.  I see this as a guideline and I would be happy even if I was over that range a bit.   The photo below was at my lowest weight as an adult and above the CDC guideline.  I am going to shoot for that to be my goal.  I felt good at that weight and thought I looked healthy.

img_64681

  • I want to get into a healthy weight range and not be in the Obese BMI Category
  • I want to feel better and get some nagging health issues under control
  • I want to look better (and wear smaller clothes that don’t come from the plus size section).

This is my long way of saying, my give a damn is back and it starts NOW (Well tomorrow….I always start on a Monday).  Welcome to my journey!