goals, Running

Oh Look, A Race!

Most of the time I have a pretty good head on my shoulders and for the most part I make smart choices.  But when it comes down to signing up for long distance races all bets are off.  All it takes is a little peer pressure, a dare, and the opportunity to earn some bragging rights to get me to throw my name into the ring.  I always start with great intentions when I click the submit button and get my confirmation number.

I WILL train, I WILL lose Weight, I WILL be in shape.

Every time without fail, I always find myself completely unprepared.  Usually 10 lbs heavier and in worse physical shape.  I seem to forget that every ounce of my free time is devoted to the activities of my 3 active children.  I also seem to forget that when something looks okay on paper that it doesn’t always translate in real life.  I always complete the race, I am always in pain, miserable and I vow I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.

This is my thought process:

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My last half marathon back in June followed this exact cycle.  Being quite over weight and not running a single mile before the race was painful (as it should have been!). I remember praying for death at mile 9 and swearing with every step I took.  I was certain, this time I definitely was done and I vowed that I would never run another race untrained. 

Well…Hello Moth, see that flame?

I just secured my spot in the 2019 Garry Bjorklund Half Marathon in June.  Without skipping a beat, I announced to the world that I am signed up and I will train.  My friends and family know me pretty well!

My Facebook Post:

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And then the comments from my buddies started coming in:

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Then some more comments:

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My husband’s reaction (if the picture isn’t worth 1000 words, There was a “Bitch please” and an eyeroll):

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My friends and family know me pretty well but this time I am determined to prove them wrong (insert their groans here).

Here is my plan:timeline

As you see from the timeline, I have quite a bit of time to train.  I am starting slow by phasing in with the Couch to 5K plan.  From there I will slowly add mileage.  I have a treadmill to knockout miles when the weather is bad.  I also have a extra driver to help with the schedule and I have this blog to keep me accountable. No excuses!  I will be ready for June.

Now I just need to find my running shoes!

 

 

Weight Loss

Whole 30 Bandwagon

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About 4 years ago I purchased the book The Whole 30 because I kept hearing of miraculous transformation stories of how people’s waistlines shrunk and their health was restored.  I was inspired by friends that completed the program and described their journey as “life changing”. I wanted to be part of this revolution and I wanted the results…I just wanted pizza more.

 

Over the years, I picked up the book many times and casually glanced over the program (usually while sipping on a beer).  I would always vow to start “on Monday”.  When the day came to start, it never took long for my resolve to break.  Someone would bring in donuts at work or I would be enticed with a weekend cocktail.  My 30 days usually ended in about 30 minutes.

I needed to make a major change.  I put on a significant amount of weight due to some health issues I experienced, the stress of a toxic a  job, and the diagnosis of Primary Lateral Sclerosis my husband received.  I gave up running and most other forms of exercise.  It took me a long time but I finally I hit my breaking point when the scale hit numbers I only saw at my highest pregnancy weight.  Not only was my weight out of control, I was dealing with a raging ulcer and brutal allergies.  I was all around unhealthy.  I knew I had to eventually get my money out of the book.

Being in my mid 40’s and feeling a lot older than my years is what ultimately gave me the motivation to start.  My husband and I chose to do this together.  My goal for the program was to break my dependence on sugar, lose a few pounds, and feel better.  My husband’s goal was to also shed a few pounds and see if it would help with his mobility.  I knew doing it together would be the only way either of us would stick to it.

We opted to start the day the kids went back to school, September 4th.  We had enough time to plan how we would get through the month and deal with events that would have normally derailed us.  I meal planned, grocery shopped, and even cooked.  These are three tasks that I do not love and I am not good at.  I am proud to say we survived the 30 days!

Here is the high level overview of my 30 days:

  1.  Easy Peasy.  Meals were planned and we weren’t hungry.
  2.  Still felt okay but my allergies were killing me but it was nice to have all my meals planned.
  3. Tired, unfocused and grumpy
  4. SUPER CRABBY.  Where the hell is my sugar???
  5. I stormed out of a car dealership, due to a limp handshake.  Need I say more.
  6. I truly could kill someone and need to be contained.
  7. Headache and Exhausted
  8. Even worse headache today.  Make it stop.
  9. Headache and more bloated than I have ever been in my whole entire life
  10. Still bloated.
  11. Feeling a bit better.  Can’t believe I haven’t caved to Booze…I went to a party and didn’t drink.
  12. Survived another BD party with no cake, no booze, and ate tacos with no cheese
  13. Feeling okay-ish.
  14. I think I am rounding the corner and feel a bit more energetic
  15. I feel pretty good
  16. Feel good but got a nasty cold
  17. Sneezy but feeling good
  18. Another Friday, another weekend kicks off without booze
  19. Great!  I survived a no booze for girls night
  20. Not hungry at all and I am craving anything
  21. Just fine and dandy.
  22. Softwar deployment night for work, ate my weight in pistachios
  23. Sinus infection takes over
  24. Headache
  25. Major Headache
  26. Relief-FINALLY and I am feeling good
  27. Over this and now I REALLY  WANT PIZZA!
  28. Counting down the minutes to be done with this where I can dive into a vat of gummy bears.
  29. I want a cocktail….and a Twinkie.
  30. OMG…..I my pants are baggy.  I am down 19.2 lbs!  My husband is down 22lbs.  IN 30 DAYS!!

30 days done, now what?

I feel pretty darn good and I want to keep going.  I like that my pants are getting baggy and my ulcer seems to have calmed down.  I like that I can walk away from ice cream or birthday cake because I don’t have wicked sugar cravings anymore.  I want the scale to continue moving south and I don’t want to go back to chomping handfuls of Tums to control my heartburn.  I know going forward I will enjoy a cocktail or nachos on occasion but I would like this to be my new normal.

Uncategorized

Back to Blogging (…again)

This blog has been dormant for some time but life in our house has been anything but!  There has been so, so much to write about.  Summer has come to an end, hockey try outs have happened, and the fall soccer season has come and gone.  I received a promotion at work and got a new car because my newly licensed driver totaled ours.  My husband and I completed Whole 30 and there is a little less of me.

I wasn’t sure when and how I should jump in to start documenting all of this.  I have struggled about the direction to take this blog and comparing it to my old blog.  I needed a fresh but with this blank canvas yet I have been feeling blocked.  I still feel compelled to write and love the idea of blogging….even if I am the only one that will read it.

I had some time to think about why I want to keep a blog and what purpose it serves.  I realized that want to keep a blog to document my journey though life trying to get (and stay healthy), raising kids, trying to kick ass with my career, and share the trials and tribulations of having a spouse with a condition without a cure.  It is easy to get lost because of the constant state of busyness and this is a good way to pause and reflect. 

 

Weight Loss

Motivated by Money

Back in January when I was creating my list of resolutions, weight loss and an abundance of money were at the top of the list.  Somehow these two things have flipped.  I seem to have an over abundance of weight and my bank account balance looks like I have been robbed.

Recently, I was tooling around on Facebook, I saw an ad for Healthy Wage*.  People were winning money and lots of it for losing weight.  I normally scroll past these ads but I wanted to see what the hype was all about.  I found out that it is plan where you bet on yourself.  You put down a wager, set your goal weight, and set the date that you will achieve your goal.  If you hit your goal, you win money (and then some).  If you don’t hit it, you lose your money.  Those are the basics.

I wanted to give it try and I wanted to get paid for something I need to do.  I am betting $50 a month that I will be 50lbs lighter by February 21th.  If I hit this goal, my payout will be $1,231!!!  Oh what I could do with that money!!  I could buy new clothes, new running shoes, or lets be real, I will probably sink it into my son’s lacrosse goalie clinic or a new pair of skates.  Better health, smaller clothes, and the ability to run a block without throwing up just wasn’t enough to fire me up but cold hard cash peaked my interest.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

 

 

 

Whatever it takes, right?

I set my wager with an amount where I have skin in the game.  In total, I will have bet $350 and for me, that is a lot of money that I don’t want to lose!  I know I have set a realistic goal.  When this challenge is complete, I will still have additional weight to lose. I chose this to be my initial goal because it was a nice  number that would take me about two thirds of the way.

I paid my initial bet and had to submit a humiliating video where it showed my full profile at every angle as well as the number on the scale.  Truthfully, it was one of my top 10 most mortifying life events.  The website says they destroy the videos but somehow I think they provide good entertainment for the people that have to review them.

Fast forward…I am about 2 weeks in and I have GAINED 3 lbs.  Gah!  I jumped on the scale and I could swear it was mocking me.  Dammit.  I recorded my weight and the web app tells me I am “off track”.

The downside to Healthy Wage is that there is no plan on HOW to lose the weight.  That part is all on me to figure out.  Hence the gamble.  They do have a nice phone app that has your stats, the ability to chat with others, a leader’s board, and the ability to invite others.  It would be nice if it synced with other weight loss tracker apps but it does not as far as I can see.  I do like the web app interface a lot better and there seems to be more options.

I am hell bent on getting a pay out for losing some weight.  I am not going to let a little set back early on derail me.  I am in it to win it!  If you would like to join me, here is an invite code:  https://hwage.co/362984/

*I am not advertising for them.  They are not paying me to post this as I have no affiliated marketing as of this the date of the post.  (though maybe they should….Healthy Wage, if you are reading this, lets talk).

goals

August Goals

It is that time again to set the goals for the month.  August is always such an awesome month but it is bittersweet because you can start feeling a twinge of Fall. We have so many fun activities planned over the course of the next 31 days.  We have a family reunion, Birthday Mania (all three of my kids were born in August within 13 days of each other-BAM!), Kid Rock Concert (I am a huge fan), a girls weekend, and the Minnesota State Fair.

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My goals for August:

  1. Lose 10lbs.  While I know that might not exactly be realistic and a tad aggressive, I need to get the scale going in the right direction.  Birthdays, travel, and food on a stick are not exactly a good recipe for my weight loss. I am smart enough to know all things in moderation but cake and fried foods are my kryptonite.  If I set an aggressive goal, I might (MIGHT) be able to control myself a bit especially if I am posting this goal for the world to read.  I will be tracking my intake on My Fitness Pal and I have signed up for Healthy Wage (more on that in a different post).
  2. Run an entire mile.  I know I covered 13.1 not that long ago but I could not run a mile at gun point.  One of my 2018 goals is to find my way back to running.  I know a mile isn’t much but I get winded walking to my car at this point.  Baby steps.  I plan on using the Couch to 5K program to get me on my way.
  3. Pack lunches.  In an effort to tighten the fiscal belt, I am going to pack my lunch for work.  I am spending way too much money because I am too lazy to throw a few items in a paper bag.  I find it obnoxious that a basic salad can cost $12 when I can make 5 meals for that amount of money.  Plus I will be supporting goal #1.

Now that they are published I am going to feel like a fool if I don’t get after it!

Weight Loss

I have a Thinking Problem

I recently switched careers.  I went from the accounting field to information technology. In my new role, I am a Business Analyst.  I did a lot of research and planning to make the transition.  After being lost a very long time, I FINALLY feel I have found a fit for my skill set and personality.  Truthfully, I am not very technical (or at all) and I always thought of my self more as the creative type rather than analytical.  But this role plays really well with my OCD tendencies.   Sometimes a little too well…

I was working on some new processes and showed them to my boss for feedback.  I put together elaborate slides with diagrams, comparisons, and outlined almost every given scenario based on all of the information I gathered.  My goal was to get sign off and birth a new process.  She appreciated the work that I did but called me out for overthinking for this specific type of project where a more iterative approach may be more applicable with some built in flexibility.

“Some things you can’t answer right away and some things need to evolve organically”.

Huh.

At first I was a smidge offended and wanted to fire back and say “ANALYST is my job title and I analyzed the shit of this!” I also wanted to trash all the work I did and start from scratch because all I was hearing was how my work was all wrong.

I didn’t argue and I didn’t trash my work.  I kept an open mind and listened.  Deep down I knew she was right and as much can constructive feedback sting, I like the lessons they provide.  Once my ego recovered, I realized overthinking and over planning can be bad as not planning enough.

That is when it really hit me.  I am like this with a lot of things in my everyday life.  I have a tendency to really beat the proverbial dead horse.

hang-on-let-me-overthink-this-ecardI overthink some of the smallest things like where to go for dinner or what I should pack on a vacation.  I get more in the weeds with the bigger decisions I need to make.  I made a damned flow chart to help me decide if I should sign my daughter up for traveling soccer in our home town or do recreational soccer in a neighboring city.  Don’t even get me started on what I did to map out preschool options for our children.  I have an ulcer for a reason.

Sometimes with my overthinking and over planning I get complete analysis paralysis and shut down.  I have a tendency to plan for perfection and when things don’t go off like I envision them, I chalk it up as a failure and quit.  In other words, I can be a complete shit show.

I can see that overthinking is my hurdle with health and weight loss.  It is a vicious cycle:  I decide to commit to work out certain number of times per week, eat in a certain way (paleo, keto, etc.), AND follow a training program to the letter.  There is no flexibility built in because I want to hit a goal by a certain date.

THEN…Someone brings cake to work or I forget my lunch or a friend wants to meet for drinks or schedules change or I am completely stressed out…

When things like this come up, my resolve is completely out the window.  I have the cake, I do the drinks, or I grab dinner on the fly because we are on the run.  Then all bets are off.  Since I go off the plan, I REALLY go off the plan.  The “start fresh tomorrow” mentality kicks in.  Then tomorrow comes and the cycle continues.

This is where my method fails me.  THIS is life and THESE are the situations where I need to have some built in flexibility.  I am now 75lb overweight and really need to re-evaluate how I am going about losing this weight.  Perhaps not planning every single detail is the better way to go. 

Wow.  I didn’t expect one informal conversation with my boss would be so enlightening.

What did I learn:

  • I have issues.
  • Overthinking and over planning don’t usually serve me well.
  • I am over thinking right now

 

Uncategorized

Return of the Give-a-Damn

I have not been very good about consistently writing blog posts.  My goal for this blog was to have a place to write about my journey to better health and fitness while juggling life.  I haven’t been consistent because I haven’t been focused on my health, my weight, or my fitness.  At all.

Several months ago, I noticed my bathroom scale was broken.  I pitched it and decided that I was going to be more than a number.  I worked out and ate decent* so the scale was pointless in my mind

*No I didn’t. 

Out of curiosity, I stepped on the scale at my parents house and I was shocked at the number staring back at me. It showed me weighing the heaviest I have ever been as an adult.  Thinking this number had to be wrong, I ordered my own scale.  To my horror, it read the same number as the scale at my parents house. Unfortunately, with this new knowledge, I had to stop blaming my daughter for shrinking my clothes in the dryer and accept my current reality that I have a bit of a weight problem.

The reality is I don’t eat well at all.  I eat a lot of crappy fast food because I don’t pack a lunch, I eat a lot of sugar, I partake in adult beverages more than I should, and I certainly do not work out as much as I think I do.  I am stress eater and I have been feeling the pressure lately.  Taking an honest assessment and a good hard look at myself was tough

I did a bit of research on the web and found that healthy range for my height is 122-164 lbs. according to the CDC. My current BMI is 35 or that is what the online calculator told me (OUCH!).  I have approximately 60-75lbs to lose to be on the higher end of that range.  I see this as a guideline and I would be happy even if I was over that range a bit.   The photo below was at my lowest weight as an adult and above the CDC guideline.  I am going to shoot for that to be my goal.  I felt good at that weight and thought I looked healthy.

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  • I want to get into a healthy weight range and not be in the Obese BMI Category
  • I want to feel better and get some nagging health issues under control
  • I want to look better (and wear smaller clothes that don’t come from the plus size section).

This is my long way of saying, my give a damn is back and it starts NOW (Well tomorrow….I always start on a Monday).  Welcome to my journey!